ARGH!

Ok, So it's Monday, And my weight is where it should be right? So why am I putting this off again? Am I scared? Am I making a mistake by trying to tel myself that I want to bring Lori with me t the recruiter KNOWING that she won't want to go so I won't have to go myself? Sounds convenient.

I was flying high on Friday. My waist was down, my neck was up and there was no doubt that I was ready. I even re-registrar at the military.com website ready to make my big comeback. then I missed exercising on Saturday and Sunday. That put my body back into a relaxed state and now I don't want to go. Then subsequently, fell out of readiness.

I guess I have been searching for excuses not to go and get this over. I mean I have no interest in disrupting everybody's life just to join the army. I have no interest in going to war.

My motives are purely from the standpoint of bettering things at home. I want Lori to be proud of me. I want the dogs to have a back yard to run around in. I want a kitchen floor that is not falling apart. I want less dust gathering on the TV.

I no longer want to be thought as somebody who can't finish things. I feel am doing this for all the right reasons. So why can't I convince myself of that?

I guess it comes down to decisiveness. Lately whenever I feel wishy washy about something. I find setting my mind straight and just doing it has worked wonders for me. It may b time to take that tactic that I use in exercise and apply it to another aspect of my life. (that of getting my but down there and gettng it over with wth)